Enough Rope To Hang Myself, Part 2

Enough Rope To Hang Myself, Part 1  and  Followup to Enough Rope To Hang Myself 

Excerpt from Enough Rope To Hang Myself, Part 1

That was three and a half years ago. 

I still can’t write her name here, my beloved dog, or even talk about her without getting choked up or outright crying.  The apartment I found (another string of what ifs:, maybe for a Part 2)….

When I moved I tossed all my books, CDs, and DVDs regarding the new age and yoga and the Self. I didn’t burn them, but I didn’t sell them or give them away, either. Just threw them in the trash where they belong. I don’t dabble in even the slightest bit of it anymore, and continue to press toward the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Burn, Baby, Burn!

I neglected to mention in Part One (God hadn’t shown me yet where the verse was), that, in the New Testament, after hearing Paul’s preaching, many were saved and burned their books about worshiping other gods.

Acts 19:18 And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. 19 Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. 20 So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

That’s a lot of money up in smoke. Well, I can’t complain. My stash was worth a lot, but it didn’t add up to anything near 50,000 pieces of silver, even going by today’s inflation. It wasn’t easy, but those books on visualization, positive thinking, and all the rest had no place on my bookshelves anymore. The experience opened my eyes, realizing that 75% of my library was ungodly and I hadn’t even known it!

In this Part Two I’ll be brief. I won’t put you through the what-if thing again like in Part One. I just wanted to wrap up what I started in the first post on this subject. I hate loose ends, and since I said I might do a Part 2, I felt obliged to do just that. Besides, I didn’t want to leave you hanging with my being evicted and still in a grieving state.

A Hot Mess

Did I mention in Part One that the landlady who lived in a separate house on the premises with her husband was very heavily into yoga and meditation? She even had her husband build her a “meditation room” outside in the backyard. In fact one day, in just one of the multiple plumbing debacles I encountered there, the hot water line burst and filled the house with scalding water at least two inches high across the floor, and when I called them for help she was at “meditation practice”. (I find that interesting now, though at the time I was still oblivious about the place I’d called home for five years being filled with devils).

Thankfully, her husband was home and came to my rescue. Another of many bathroom emergencies was when the toilet backed up into the bathtub and sink; and the plumber who came to fix it was a nightmare on top of a nightmare with a snake machine that made more noise than a garbage truck. Let’s just say it was all over the walls, with me in my living room trying to complete my thesis to submit to university the next day in order to receive my master of fine arts degree in creative writing! Hey, just a slight distraction! No problem. (Yes, it was “the last minute”.)

What Else Is New?

And I know what most people would way: Look, everybody has plumbing problems, everybody gets mice and crickets and snakes, everybody has bizarre neighbors, everybody has mosquitoes and flies that stick to the wall and don’t leave their place for days, everybody has computers that go on in the middle of the night with screaming voices, everybody has radios in their car that go on by themselves, everybody has plants that suddenly die after years of being nurtured, everybody has experiences where they almost get killed, and then their dog dies, and everybody has this and everybody has that.

Sorry, but this essay covers only part of what went on; for me to cover everything that actually took place, I’d have to write a big, fat book! And I am not inclined to do that. I’m a believer of moving on, but I wanted to share this for the sake of anyone who might benefit from it. These demonic shenanigans went on daily (and nightly), not to mention my endless insomnia that went with it. It was pure chaos.

Anybody who’s been bludgeoned by evil spirits knows exactly what I’m talking about. Anybody who doesn’t believe in such things, well, I hope you never have to.

 So, That’s Your Income?

It was difficult to find a place with rents being ridiculously high. After weeks (I had six in which to move) of one rejection (either mine or the apartment manager’s) after another of different places I looked at, I finally found a place.

One thing, a sure sign that God was helping me, was that the apartment I finally found which would accept me based on my low income (a couple of years before, I had quit a job for reasons of conscience – a story for another post, or not – and I looked terrible on paper) the apartment manager showed me both an upstairs and downstairs apartment, and said I could pick either one. An unexpected blessing!

Okay, Lady, What’s It Gonna Be?

Both apartments had their pros and cons, but I didn’t want to make a major project out of making the choice, and was almost wishing I didn’t have a choice. With so much going on in my head, it seemed impossible to decide.

Downstairs was a brand-new deck, which they were building while I was there. Fresh, clean wooden slats, really beautiful. Ground floor. Very nice.

Upstairs, there was no deck, but a big window looking out over trees and the parking lot of the next-door apartments.

Normally I would have picked the downstairs with the deck automatically. But after my recent experience of too many strange visits from crickets and mice and snakes at the other place, and wacko neighbors, being above ground with extra privacy looked good, too. (Sorry, I didn’t go into my “neighbors” at that house, and I won’t. Too bizarre and too much to cover. Let’s just say they would have been an inspiration to Rod Serling.)

So I went home excited, telling the manager I would take the downstairs apartment, only to call her back and say, “No, I’ll take the upstairs instead.” And then in the middle of the night I woke up and said, “Maybe I should take the downstairs after all.” When I was dizzy with this dilemma the manager called and asked me to come over and fill out more forms.

When I arrived, I was too embarrassed to admit that, though she now thought I was going to take the upstairs, I had decided to go back to the original choice of downstairs.

 God’s Got This!

When I finally found the nerve to tell her, she said, “Oh sorry. Too late. I gave the downstairs to somebody else, since you called and said you wanted the upstairs.” I was disappointed but thought, God’s making this decision for me, like everything else. I’ll pray against snakes and demonic neighbors. But then she said, “But, you know, I have one other place which just came up that I didn’t know about when I spoke to you. Would you like to see it?”

I couldn’t help but smile, thinking God must be up to something. When we got there – it was upstairs – and when we went inside I knew it was perfect. Instead of the next-door apartment complex parking lot, it backed up to a creek which I hadn’t known was there, a beautiful lush, green canopy of maples and oaks and lots of ground foliage and no shortage of squirrels, birds, (and plenty of deer, I later learned, which like to stand right under my window and munch on the grass).

It was hard not to cry in front of this woman who I’m sure already thought I was a bit strange. Of course, I said, “I’ll take it!”

Escape from House on Haunted Hill

In the financial straits I was in, and with the rental situation in my area being what it was (and is), it would have never occurred to me to move, even with all the craziness, still unaware that the place was “haunted” by demons invited by myself and the female yoga master out back. Because, even as I was trashing my ungodly literature and such, I still didn’t know the house and grounds were a true ungodly stronghold. God protected me from that knowledge until I was on safe (to me, sacred) ground.

In retrospect, I can’t believe I lived there in such good humor, my usual self, every day trying to rise above whatever the last calamity that plagued me. That was God working in my life, even before I was saved, which He had done for years. Then He saved me, sacrificing my beloved pet in the process, bringing me suddenly to my knees spiritually and emotionally; a few years before, it was my sister who’d gone suddenly which sent me into a tailspin (which led me to quit my job–that other story). God gave me the boot by having me evicted (on my birthday–interesting touch), and to top it all off, He found the perfect place for me to live.

But the story’s not over. And Satan’s minions didn’t let go that easily. Stay tuned for Part 3 to hear the rest of the tale. As always, thanks for listening.

Enough Rope To Hang Myself, Part 1  and  Followup to Enough Rope To Hang Myself 

Enough Rope To Hang Myself

 Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?

~ Proverbs 20:24 

Anything of the Lord means He’s behind it, which means He wanted it for reasons unknown to me.  God’s will is what God wants.

“Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?”  This really helps when I sit here wondering, Why the heck did I do that?  Say that?  or What’s my problem?

Good or bad, God’s got a reason, which I may never know, for everything that happens.  It’s not always so clear why a thing had to happen.  But there are times when I look back where I can see why a certain thing had to happen, because if it didn’t, then the other thing that happened wouldn’t have happened, and so on.

Derailed

We all know the old stories of somebody who yells in frustration because he missed the train, only to learn later that it derailed and everyone on board was killed…and similar such stories.  It’s not always quite that dramatic, but it can be.

I have lots of stories like that—no train derailments, thank God—but…well, let me tell you about a string of happenings to give you an idea of what I mean. A list of events (not exhaustive, but enough) where I didn’t “understand my own way” but know now that my “goings” were of the Lord because of where they led me.

What If…

You’ve heard of “what-if” theories.  They use them in economics, politics, and various other fields of study, so please allow me to use the “what-if” concept here to help me expound on my above comments (without going into long, but, dare I admit, true stories).

Okay, here goes:

What if my hands became disabled several years ago, and what if I couldn’t work? And, what if, as a result I lost my house (and everything else)?  And what if I turned to “spirituality” and became an expert on the New Age, meditation, yoga, emptying my mind, even on learning Sanskrit?

And what if yoga meant yoke (it does), and connect with (yup) and what if I did.  

Then, what if I started to get tired of sadness and heartache and blamed it all on God because He used us as pawns and cared not for our trials and pain?

What if I read countless books on going deeper within myself, like The  Sacred Self by Wayne Dyer, and so many others?  What if I meditated for long intervals and opened my mind to the so-called Oneness “out there”?

Then, what if loud bangings over the living room ceiling at night started (when I knew there was nothing overhead but the roof and the stars).  What if a lot of mice came, strange mosquitoes and flies that didn’t fly but stayed attached to one place for long hours, and what if all my flowering plants which I’d nurtured for years before I’d moved in, both inside the house and outside, got attacked by some unknown creeping crud and died?

And what if my computer started turning itself on in the middle of the night, with someone talking loudly or even screaming?  And what if the car radio turned itself on once while I was driving and then again after I’d turned it off?

And what if a snake showed up in my yard?  And what if I almost got killed by a huge truck while in my little car on the way to work?  And what if the day after that, I came home and found my formerly healthy, beloved dog dead?

Looking for Comfort

And what if I later turned on YouTube desperately looking for my Vedanta guru named Mooji, a Jamaican man living in India who used to be a Christian, who I’d set my alarm for at 7 am on my day off to watch him online live.  Now, I was looking for comfort in his words for the heavy grief I felt for my sweet dog, my buddy of twelve years.  I did find something Mooji said briefly, on Guilt, of which I had plenty.  And yes I hung on his every word.

But then what if I clicked on, of all things, a Christian preacher while going through YouTube?  I won’t say his name, it doesn’t matter.  (You’d know him; he’s not perfect; none of us are; but I’ve since learned he does know how to expound on the King James Bible, unlike many.)

Surrender

I was the type who ran when I saw someone come near me with a Bible who was going to tell me to repent because the end was near.  As an ex-Catholic, I had always believed in God, but in the midst of turmoil, had gotten very angry with him and had turned away (a joke, right?  the pot yelling at the Potter?).  My New Age spirituality had become my new solace.

Okay, so what if I listened to this online preacher for at least a half-hour and what if he said, If you have nothing left to lose (or words of a similar vein), stand up and ask Jesus to help you.  Tell Him you believe in Him.”

What if I stood up from my chair, right on the spot where I’d found my lifeless pet-best-friend, and what if I finally gave up.  What if I just gave up and sobbed my eyes out, body slumped, barely standing, and said, “Jesus, I don’t know anything, but if You are who this man says you are, then You are what I need.  Please help me.”

Happy Birthday

Then what if the next day was my birthday and for a birthday present I got an eviction notice from my landlady (her daughter wanted the house I was renting).

That was three and a half years ago.

I still can’t write her name here, my beloved dog, or even talk about her without getting choked up or outright crying.  The apartment I found (another string of what ifs, maybe for a Part 2).

Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?

~ Proverbs 20:24 

The Lord had me go through my “goings” and later I understood my own way that I had followed, outside of God’s wings of protection. I was committing the sin He hates the most, worshipping other gods, but without realizing what I was doing, and He had mercy on me, but I had to suffer first, then see the light.  The Cross before the Resurrection.  Baptism into His Holy Spirit.

Yoga, meditation, and emptying of the mind promised to yoke me with the gods and even become god myself.  Well, it worked, but what they neglected  to tell me is the “gods” are just dark spirits, the devil’s angels.  I got too good at what I was practicing and they moved in on me and my life, first slowly, then overwhelmingly obviously.

The Real Question

So the big question became: What if I got so good at my “practice” of yoga and meditation that I connected and yoked with every dark spirit in town.

Well that’s just what happened, but apparently God saw fit to punish me for my ungodly ways, then gave me enough rope to hang myself (almost literally).  Who knew?  (I pray for Mooji that he will return to his Christian roots.)

The apostle Paul said, “…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

~ Philippians 3:13-14

That’s me.  When I moved I tossed all my books, CDs, and DVDs regarding the new age and yoga and the Self.  I didn’t burn them, but I didn’t sell them or give them away, either. Just threw them in the trash where they belong.  I don’t dabble in even the slightest bit of it anymore, and continue to press toward the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

I’m Not the Only One!

Here are some excellent books written by those who underwent similar experiences:

I believe all the books listed here are available in both paperback and eBook or PDF.  I realize this is a controversial subject and many will insist that yoga is just exercise, but I ask you to read, watch and listen to the following with an open mind (but don’t open your mind TOO much!   :- )

Suggested Readings:

  1. Death of a Guru: A Remarkable True Story of One Man’s Search for Truth  (formerly published as Escape into the Light), by Rabindranath R Maharaj with Dave Hunt, 1977, 1984.
  2. The Light That Was Dark: From The New Age To Amazing Grace, by Warren Smith, 1992, 2005.
  3. Out of India: A True Story About The New Age Movement, by Carol Matrisciana, 2008.
  4. The Beautiful Side of Evil, by Johanna Michaelsen, 1982.
  5. The Seduction of Evil: Spiritual Discernment in the Last Days, by Dave Hunt and T.A. McMahon, 1985, 1986.

Videos (the best two of the four videos I had saved, have since been deleted…hmm…), but I’m sure there are new ones out there I haven’t seen yet.  Here are two:

  1. Yoga and The Emerging Church, a Dave Hunt interview
  2. Yoga and the Occult: Ex Witch Tells All, a woman named Beth tells her story

Avoid yoga and keep pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus who saved a wretch like me.  Hallelujah and Amen!